Shortly after a large Thanksgiving dinner, many start to think about a New Year’s resolution. Thoughts of diet and exercise occupy space in our head after dressing and pumpkin pie occupies space in our stomachs.
Statistically, though, resolutions don’t work. As few as 9% keep their New Year’s resolutions throughout the entire year.
If you have resolution fatigue, there’s a better approach. Develop a goal and then:
- Admit that committing to that goal for four seasons and 365 days, followed by a desired lifelong change, is a bit intimidating and overwhelming.
- Jumpstart your goal in an intense way for a shorter time period: the 98 days between Christmas and Easter—all winter months and only about a fourth of a full year.
- Acknowledge that the winter season can be tough on us without some kind of positive intervention on our end.
- Understand that helping others takes attention off of us and our many excuses for not accomplishing something.
- Achieve a primary goal by implementing a secondary goal of a specific number of acts of kindness to be performed daily and feel your heart grow lighter during dreary, winter months.
Most experts say it takes 21 – 66 days to break a bad habit. And it often takes a minimum of 90 days to turn the corner on a true addiction. The 98 days between Christmas and Easter, this year, is time enough to break a bad habit or begin the courageous journey of recovery from addiction.
And by turning the season of winter into a season of kindness, the cold, harsh weather will seem warmer and more bearable.
Acts of kindness are powerful, especially for the giver. It can even be therapeutic.
A therapist once instructed a recovering addict to perform 100 acts of kindness.
In a day. And the next day after that. And the next.
That sounds almost impossible. To both accomplish and track.
And that’s the point. It refocuses thoughts, energy and actions. It keeps the addict extremely busy with something other than drugs or alcohol.
Mentalhealth.net frames the benefit of performing acts of kindness this way, “Your mind cannot dwell on two things at once. If you keep your mind occupied, cravings have less power.”
It also recommends counting and recording these acts of kindness—as many as possible—for at least 90 days. Another seemingly insurmountable task.
All day long, there are many opportunities for random acts of kindness: holding a door open for someone, being a generous tipper, smiling at someone who looks sad, giving a compliment, saying please and thank you, picking up a piece of litter, being on time for an appointment and respectful of others’ time, forgiving someone who wronged you, cooking a special meal for someone, reaching out to a friend or family member, donating your time, talent or treasure to a charity, giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and being fully present when asking, “How are you?”
That’s a lot of kindnesses to track.
Fortunately, there’s an app for that. There are a number of free “click counter” apps that can be downloaded to your smart phone. If you prefer the old-fashioned way, there are lots of five-dollar mechanical click counters that can easily slip into a pocket.
It seems a little drastic to do all this counting, but again, it keeps the addict’s attention focused.
Addiction is a difficult thing, and kindness-clicking your way to recovery will likely not be so simple. But it’s one tool that can be used along with different therapies and treatments.
Performing acts of kindness are good for others, too.
If it takes an intense 100 acts of kindness on a daily basis to help a recovering addict, others can strive for 50 or even 25 acts daily to help overcome a bad habit or just help to make the winter season less dark and our hearts lighter and uplifted.
Keep saying yes to resolutions, even if they’re not for an entire year. And bring both intensity to your goal and kindness to others during the winter months.
It might even become your favorite season.
Moving the Conversation Along 