More respect is needed for election outcomes

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There’s no crying over elections.

Or there shouldn’t be. It’s disrespectful to the voters who placed a particular candidate in office.

First, we had protesters and resisters over the legitimate election of President Donald Trump in 2016. Being disappointed that your candidate doesn’t win is understandable. But disrespecting the vote from those who put him in office becomes divisive.

Now, we’re seeing that same mentality creating divisiveness from the midterm elections.

Georgia candidate, Democrat Stacey Abrams, lost the governor’s race to Republican Brian Kemp by about 50,000 votes. Abrams had the support of 1,923,582 voters. That’s a lot.

But 1,978,383 Georgians voted for her opponent. That’s a little more and enough to secure the win. These facts—and people—can’t be ignored, but she still disrespected all Kemp voters when she said, “Let’s be clear: This is not a speech of concession.”

Abrams has claimed possible fraud, but evidence of it has not been produced. What she does have are certified election results—results showing that nearly 2 million Georgians voted for her opponent. It may be tough for her to acknowledge, but a thin win for Kemp is still a win.

Republican candidate for U.S. Senate, Martha McSally, also lost her election by about 50,000 votes. She lost the Arizona seat to Democrat Kyrsten Sinema. Surely, McSally would have liked to focus on the support she received from 1,059,124 voters. But it would have been disrespectful of the 1,097,321 Arizona citizens who voted for her opponent. She graciously conceded the race by saying, “I wish her all success as she represents Arizona in the Senate.”

McSally understands that we’re not entitled to much, but in this country we’re still entitled to vote for the candidate of our choice. And that vote must be respected.

Losing a hard-fought election by just 50,000 votes when 2 million or 4 million are cast must be gut-wrenching. It doesn’t have to be divisive, though.

Divisiveness happens when there’s a refusal to accept that others have the right to form political opinions and vote in a way that doesn’t match your own. It isn’t what we do. It’s what we not allow others to do.

Without this considerate understanding, family and friends can morph into “deplorables” or “leftists” instead of just citizens doing their best for country and family.

And when things don’t go our way, there’s always another opportunity in two, four or six years to try again. Voters don’t always get it right, but they’re pretty good at making adjustments and corrections. Midterms are notorious for that. But in some ways, every election comes down to answering one central question, “Is an adjustment needed?”

Abrams and McSally have proven they are viable candidates with strong support. They are certainly worthy of trying again in their next election cycle, if it’s what they desire. Showing respect for the vote and all voters—whether they were for you or against you—would be a great place to start.

In the last presidential election, my three adult children all voted for a different candidate. Surprisingly, it created a sense of contentment for this fiscal conservative. They think for themselves. It’s what should be expected and then respected of every voter.

Advocate your beliefs without dismissing someone else’s. Exercise your right to vote without disrespecting the vote of others.

You will win some. You will lose some.

Nothing, at all, to cry about there.

Goals and the fun factor

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Too often, goals aren’t any fun at all. The vision of achievement is something we like, but sometimes the process to get there can be unnecessarily unpleasant. And the vision vanishes.

Setting a goal and reaching it typically calls for some sort of adjustment. And if the adjustment were an enjoyable one, we’d already be doing it.

If the goal is to get good grades, the adjustment is to devote more time toward studying and completing assignments. Not always enjoyable.

If the goal is to be financially secure, the adjustment could be to work more, work smarter, spend less, or invest better. These options seem like more stress than fun.

And if the goal is to lose weight, the adjustment is to diet and exercise. Again, if it were enjoyable to spend our free time dieting and exercising—we’d already be doing it.

For some of us, we spend quite a few years—maybe decades—in the pursuit of weight loss. The problem is that it’s just not fun.

But what if we could switch things up and make fun the end goal, and weight loss the accidental achievement?

The key is to define what the word “fun” means to you personally. What would make your life more meaningful and just plain happier? Once you’ve established what your “fun-ness” is, find a way to work it into your goal and reward system.

This writer struggled with losing 20 pounds for about 20 years, but looking back I can see that I was doing things all wrong. The end goal was always weight loss, and that wasn’t fun.

This year, the end goal was to have fun. If I also happened to lose weight, that would be great.

For me, learning is fun. Often, that means traveling and seeing and doing new things. I rarely travel to the same location over and over again. Once I’ve been there and done that, I’m ready to strike out for new territory.

My fun-ness and I decided to take a virtual walk across the country this year, using my generic Fitbit. I left San Diego, California on January 1st. On December 31st, I’ll arrive in Jacksonville, Florida. It’s 2,338 miles. Or about 6.5 miles per day or 13,000 steps daily.

It’s intense. But I’ve enjoyed tracking my progress across the country and learning about the cities I’m traveling through, telling myself that someday I’ll return for an actual visit.

My route took me through New Orleans about mid-October, and it’s a city that I had never visited. I decided to reward myself for my walk-across-the-country efforts thus far and physically travel there, along with my daughter, my sister and a niece. It’s poetic that my year of fun landed me in the Crescent City where there’s music and great food everywhere.

There’s a sign up in the New Orleans airport that advertises one of many great restaurants in the French Quarter. This part of the airport is usually hectic with travelers impatiently standing in line, trying to get their baggage checked. I don’t usually notice advertisements here, but was drawn to this one. Its message was, “Life is meant to be lived, not endured.”

In about ten weeks, I’ll “be” in Jacksonville. Been living a pretty good and fun life this year.

And dropped 20 pounds in the process.

Policies of current president created roaring economy

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The “you didn’t build that” guy is back.

In 2012 at a campaign appearance, then President Barrack Obama said, “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”

Many small business owners didn’t take kindly to that remark. Every new business begins with an idea and the personal courage to follow through on it. Business ownership is an individual effort and risk. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about half of all startups fail within five years.

The Obama administration backpedaled. It tried to reinforce the message that because business owners receive benefits from the government such as public education and the use of public roads, it supports the “you didn’t build that” notion.

Surprisingly, there can be a widespread and incorrect understanding that the government is some separate entity in this country—not a 100 percent taxpayer-funded one—that provides public goods. Statements like Obama’s fuel that misunderstanding.

The reality is that the small business owner builds a business and also funds public schools and roads through taxes. That’s a lot of individual building. Not government building.

Now Obama’s back on the campaign trail, trying to help Democrats get elected in the midterms. This time, he’s attempting to take some credit for the roaring economy.

There are times when a current president benefits from a past president’s policies.

One example is the Berlin Wall. It fell during the George H.W. Bush presidency. But history books will give greater credit to his predecessor, Ronald Reagan, and his policy of peace through strength. Reagan initiated the policy and Bush maintained it. He “stayed the course.”

The same is not true for the Obama – Trump transition. Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, campaigned to reverse the course of Obama—not maintain it. Now he’s called President Trump.

Under the Obama administration, business-harming regulations escalated. One of Trump’s first moves as president was issuing an executive order that directed government agencies to repeal two regulations for every new rule enacted. According to the White House, the regulation rollback was actually 22 regulations removed for every new rule instituted during 2017.

Obama also favored tax increases. However, Trump and the Republican-controlled Congress delivered a tax cut that benefits both individuals and businesses.

And according to the National Federation of Independent Businesses, optimism among small businesses has soared. It’s been tracking it for 45 years, and it’s never been higher.

The optimism factor is very much leader-driven, and it surged directly after Trump was elected.

Juanita Duggan, NFIB’s president and CEO, states, “There is no question that the change of policy in Washington has everything to do with the increase in the optimism index.”

Historians will not connect Obama with this current economic surge, no matter how often he attempts to take credit for it at campaign rallies. Losing presidential candidate Hillary Clinton wrote a book called, “What Happened,” where she blamed everyone else for her failures. Maybe Obama will one day write a book called, “I Happened,” where he takes credit for everyone else’s successes.

Many may feel a personal dislike for Trump. Pick a tweet. Any tweet.

For some, it makes it awfully tough to acknowledge anything positive coming out of his presidency.

But small business owners are less interested in tweets and personalities than they are in policy changes that will help, and not hinder, their businesses.

And when small businesses succeed, the country succeeds. According to the Small Business & Entrepreneurship Council, small businesses account for more than 90 percent of all companies in the country.

It remains to be seen if Trump can sustain this roaring economy. The midterm elections will have a lot to say about that.

Until then, give credit where credit is due. Even if it’s only begrudgingly.

Under pressure? Flip your thinking


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Even those who aren’t big NASCAR fans were on the edge of their seats during the last 10 laps of the Watkins Glen International race. Winless Chase Elliott, son of NASCAR great Bill Elliott, was in the lead. The race was his 99th start in the NASCAR Cup series, and he was still looking for his first checkered flag.

Martin Truex, Jr., in the No. 78 car was right behind him. He was close. Too close. Not quite enough speed to overpower the No. 9 car. But enough speed to hang with him and wait. Wait for the slightest miscalculation from Elliott, a tiny flaw in judgment that can happen at top speeds on this winding road course, a high-pressure error that would crack open a window of opportunity to allow Truex to sail by and sink Elliott’s 99th attempt to win his first Cup race.

Life can be plenty difficult sometimes.

What was Elliott thinking during those final laps? It would be easy to curse the competition. To grumble about not being able to shake off Truex. To even allow negative thoughts to creep in of losing it just before the finish line.

Turns out he flipped it.

Not the car. His thinking.

Elliott had recently watched a video clip by Georgia coach, Kirby Smart. He talked about the enormous expectations of his football team. Last year, they played in the championship game and lost to Alabama in overtime. There is pressure for a repeat trip to that final and decisive game and this time, to come out the victor.

The coach quoted tennis legend, Billie Jean King, when he told his team that, “Pressure is a privilege.”

We tend to think too much in this world about how to remove stress and stressful expectations from our lives—that pressure is a burden.

But what if we thought differently about stress? And expectations? And pressure?

Elliott ended up winning that race. And in the post-race interview he said that pressure is a privilege.

The only reason he had pressure at that moment was because of where he was—a 22-year-old race car driver racing with the top professionals in his sport. His determination and skill set got him to the big league. It was a privilege to be among the elite. He embraced it, even though that privilege came with enormous pressure.

And he wouldn’t want it any other way. The alternative—having no stress or expectations—would not have led him to that moment. Pressure is part of accomplishing great things.

Very few are professional race car drivers, but many have pressures. Pressure to raise our kids well, to the best of our abilities, knowing that they truly are our future. Pressure to succeed in our job or our business because, at a minimum, it keeps a roof over our head and more so because we have goals we want to accomplish. Pressure in navigating the ebb and flow of personal and professional relationships.

Imagine if we had no stress or a life with no expectations placed upon us. At first, the idea of a non-stop vacation might sound pretty appealing. But after a while, we’d want more. We’d expect more. Otherwise, the days would float by in a meaningless way.

We can flip our thinking about pressure when we realize that our journey prepared us for the challenge at hand. Our life experiences build and lead us to pivotal moments, and we wouldn’t want it any other way. It means we’ve done a lot of things right to get there. And whether we win or lose, we’ll come out better for it—better prepared for the next challenge.

Then it clicks that pressure isn’t a burden, but instead a privilege.

One that we’ve earned.

After online shopping

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The social act of shopping is disappearing. And it’s happening quickly.

Just a decade ago, it was common for Olivia and her “mothers” to make shopping trips to regional retail locations. She and her mother, godmother (aunt) and grandmother all hopped into one vehicle and made the enjoyable one-hour drive together. Looking back to that time, nobody would be able to remember the purchases that were made. It was the windshield time—the chatter and storytelling—that was valuable.


Multi-generational shopping trips are diminishing. Instead, we have Amazon.

In CNBC’s 2017 All American Economic Survey focusing on holiday shoppers, it found that about half the consumers in this country do the majority of their purchasing online. Of that number, a whopping 75 percent shop on Amazon most of the time. Online purchases through Walmart ranked second—at a distant eight percent.

After online sales, big box retail stores came in second and department retail stores were third.

Brick and mortar businesses have an immense challenge before them. It will be interesting to see the adjustments these businesses must make to stay profitable ten years from now. Many are already choosing to partner with Amazon and make their products available online through this colossus. For businesses like Toys R Us and Younkers, it’s too late.

Online shopping is pervasive, and it’s here to stay. In fact, it’s already morphed into another creation with online personal shopping services like Stitch Fix and Trunk Club. Personal stylists use information from your completed questionnaire to regularly choose and send clothing items to you.

Now, we don’t even have to “shop.” All we have to do is “get.”

Still, there’s no need to resist or protest all this online business. There are a lot of benefits to online shopping, and you can’t stop progress.

Consumers point to efficiencies and time saved as one reason to shop online. That’s understandable, as long as time saved is time spent in another social manner. In other words, we’re saving all this time—but for what?

If it’s freeing up your time for more interpersonal relationships—face to face time—that’s a good thing.

The Bureau of Labor Statistic’s 2015 American Time Use Survey found that average, daily time spent socializing is 41 minutes.

That doesn’t seem like very much time to make personal connections with others. Texting, tweeting, emailing, Snapchatting and Facebooking don’t count. Social media and all digital communication is useful and has its place. But there’s no comparison to being fully present with the person in front of you versus making and receiving electronic comments.

Olivia is grown now and on her own. Her mother recently needed a dress for an upcoming wedding, and it would have been great fun for them to go shopping together. But the mother, one Saturday afternoon at home and alone, decided to spend a good chunk of time searching online for dresses. She found one she liked and screenshot it so she could show it later to her daughter.

On a summer day on a historic hotel porch with rocking chairs, she pulled out her smart phone and showed her daughter the digital dress desire. The daughter approved. The shopping is likely done. They shared a laugh about the new, and now much shorter, mother-daughter shopping experience.

But then they left their cozy, white-washed porch and headed out. They were going to see a play that night.

Still having adventures together—just not as many shopping ones.

Blum’s seat is curiously called “most vulnerable”

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The most vulnerable U.S. House of Representatives seat is located in Iowa. That’s what Roll Call, a leading provider of congressional news, recently said about Iowa’s northeast district and its seat holder—Rod Blum.

Iowa is a swing state. Elections, here, have an element of uncertainty. But to be labeled “most vulnerable” out of 435 districts is something. Not everyone in Northeast Iowa resides in the 1st Congressional District, but all should wonder about the makings of the most vulnerable House seat in the country.

According to Ballotpedia, there are two big determining factors: election data and candidate viability.

Election data shows that the party of a newly elected president can be more vulnerable at mid-terms. That vulnerability increases if you’re a Republican representative running for re-election in a district that voted Democratic in the last presidential election. That’s not the case here, as Donald Trump won the district.

Trump’s win over Democratic candidate, Hillary Clinton, in that district was a narrow one, though, and the district voted for Barrack Obama in the previous two presidential elections.

The margin of victory from past congressional elections is also considered. Slimmer wins increase vulnerability. Blum beat his last opponent by almost eight percentage points—a comfortable victory.

The data shows some signs of vulnerability, but isn’t overwhelming. It’s hard to understand how it places the district more vulnerable than hundreds of others.

Then there’s candidate viability. A strong candidate needs a minimum of three things: a message that resonates with voters, a history that instills confidence and approval, and enough money to run a successful campaign.

Challenger Abby Finkenauer’s message is that she will fight to improve the standard of living for hard-working Americans. This sounds awfully close to fighting for the “forgotten ones” that Trump campaigned for in 2016. His message resonated, and voters put him in office.

The cause was a good one, and we’re beginning to see some positive results. According to Trading Economics, a provider of historical data on economic indicators, wages increased 4.56 percent in April, over the previous April. In fact, since December 2017 monthly wages have consistently been four percent higher than the previous year.

There’s room for improvement, but paychecks are already increasing.

The candidates’ personal histories sharply contrast. According to the Center for Responsive Politics, the majority of representatives in the U.S. House are now millionaires. Rod Blum is one of them. To his credit, though, he became a self-made millionaire in the private sector before going to Washington, D.C. There are many government servants who become millionaires during their public service.

Finkenauer’s history is as a solid public servant.

She had previously worked as a page in the Iowa House of Representatives and after graduating from Drake University, she worked as a legislative assistant. In 2014, she was elected as a representative to the Iowa House and won re-election in 2016.

Blum is a success story from the private sector. Finkenauer is a success from the public one. Voters are more frequently choosing outsiders—those who aren’t career government individuals—to fix what’s wrong in Washington.

Strong candidate viability also requires enough money to run a successful campaign. Finkenauer has raised more than a million dollars, keeping her campaign on a level playing field with Rod Blum’s. And according to the Washington Post, the Nancy Pelosi-connected House Majority PAC plans to spend a half million dollars in television advertisements against Rod Blum. There will likely be a healthy response from Republican political action committees.

Finkenauer’s candidacy is certainly viable, but doesn’t seem so extraordinary that it would catapult the 1st Congressional District to most vulnerable status.

Anything can happen in a swing state, but the district’s “most vulnerable” ranking is a head-scratcher.

Rankings and polls, though, are slippery words in politics. Results are concrete.

The sunset deliverer


The shacks, peppered throughout St. Pete’s Beach, are for housing beach chairs. But these hardy Midwesterners saw them as the perfect windbreak from Florida’s unseasonably chilly gusts, even for January.

Sunsets here are renowned, and it was our last vacation night. My husband and I made our way through the squeaky, white sand and hunkered down by our windbreak. Once out of the wind, we could relax and look to the horizon. The sun was on the move.

That’s when the sunset deliverer appeared.

With mixed drink in one hand and a smart phone in the other, he ambled over to the windbreak. I guess he knew the value of a good beach chair shack, too.

He’d been here before. Many times.

Our middle-aged visitor lived just on the other side of the highway. It was an easy walk to get to one of the plentiful beach bars and wind up his day with a favorite drink. He was a bachelor and didn’t have any other family with him. His mother lived in the Midwest. And she worried about him.

That’s the thing about mothers. Even before you were born, she was worrying about you.

We learned a lot about each other in those few minutes. Funny how that can happen with complete strangers. But we weren’t there to talk. The sun was meeting the water. We strode out and clicked away at the colorful sight before us.

Walking back to the windbreak, he got busy texting and attaching his sunset photo. He sent it to his mother.

He does that every night.

It lets her know that he’s ok. I’m guessing his elderly mother sends a quick acknowledgement back, letting him know that she’s ok too.

Maybe he’s not the best at making phone calls. A lot of people aren’t. I got the feeling that many days could go by without a visit on the phone with his mother. With the distance between them, personal visits had to be even tougher to accomplish.

The natural order of life is for our kids to grow up and become independent adults with productive and busy lives of their own. We parents wouldn’t want it any other way.

But no matter how spectacularly autonomous they become, mothers still worry about them. Are they happy? Are they lonely? Are they safe? Are they healthy? The list goes on.

The sunset deliverer knows this. He’s figured out that a mother’s love will also include unnecessary worry over a grown and capable man. It’s all a package deal.

And so even though he doesn’t call, he sends a stunning sunset.

Every night.

Some might feel he’s doing the bare minimum for his elderly parent. Others will see the act as one of great thoughtfulness. It’s not everything, but it’s something.

I watched the sunset deliverer trudge through the deep sand and return to his bar stool, where he comfortably struck up a conversation with the fellow next to him.

It’s sundown at St. Pete’s Beach, and all is well. His mother needn’t worry tonight.