Life is filled with temptations. Food, alcohol, shopping, social media use, television viewing time, and more. We don’t always do such a great job of mastering these temptations. They can then have a negative effect on our life or turn into full-blown addictions.
The self-disciplined, though, can navigate this environment a little more easily. Using a portion control strategy, they’re able to limit calories, alcohol, spending, social media use, and television consumption.
But what if self-discipline is not one of your natural abilities?
Most experts agree that you can learn it.
Lack of discipline is one of those nature or nurture questions. Since self-discipline can be taught, it makes sense that environment plays a role—especially during childhood.
Interestingly, though, biology comes into play too. But even if lack of discipline is a personality trait and core to who you are, it doesn’t mean that you can’t move the needle in the desired direction to become a more productive individual.
For example, I’m an inherently shy person. I’ve learned, though, how to be less shy by putting myself outside of my comfort zone. Forcing myself to accept public speaking opportunities has helped as well as saying yes to as many social functions as possible. If introvert is one end of a range and extrovert on the other, I’m closer to the middle now.
The same is true with self-discipline, and there are techniques that can help those looking to improve that quality in their life. (NOTE: Always speak with a health care professional before implementing any diet, exercise, or lifestyle changes—especially those related to addiction or mental health issues.)
We’ve heard that it’s helpful to break a big but reasonable goal or project into smaller, more doable activities. One way for those wanting to improve self-discipline is to also delay gratification after those small victories until the larger goal is met.
The reason for this approach has to do with dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in the brain’s reward system. And it can be trained. To your benefit or detriment.
Healthy dopamine levels help us to resist impulses and to focus and work toward long-term goals. But too much immediate gratification throws our dopamine out of whack.
Often, but not always, the person lacking self-discipline has some type of immediate gratification problem or addictive-forming behavior that’s unrelated to the task at hand but helps to explain why they’re experiencing difficulties in accomplishing what they want to do.
Any type of frequent reward-centered or addictive-forming behavior will flood the brain with unnaturally high levels of dopamine. Too much dopamine over long periods of time make dopamine receptors less responsive. More of the harmful activity is needed in order to feel the same dopamine hit. At this stage, damaged dopamine receptors make it hard to resist impulses—to delay gratification found in the reward—in order to work at achieving a bigger goal or be industrious in other areas of life. It stifles self-discipline.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. Reducing or eliminating time spent with the reward or stimulant will eventually return dopamine to healthy levels. A return to being productive can happen.
In addition to identifying unhealthy habits that could be leading to a lack of self-discipline, there are supplementary behaviors that can help with dopamine. Eating foods high in magnesium and tyrosine (chicken, almonds, apples, green leafy vegetables, green tea, tomatoes, and turmeric), exercising, and spending time in nature all help to naturally regulate healthy levels of dopamine.
Next, for some, it’s better to stop hoping for the feeling of motivation to arrive. Sometimes we’re self-motivated and sometimes we’re not. Feeling motivated is just that. It’s a feeling.
Instead, put the word “willpower” into your vocabulary. Willpower more readily leads to action. Even if we don’t feel like doing something, we have enough willpower to complete the smaller chunk of the bigger goal we’re trying to accomplish. You might not be motivated to run a 26-mile marathon, but many times you have the willpower to walk 2.6 miles in a day. In ten days, you will have completed a marathon. If you’ve been living a very sedentary lifestyle and 2.6 miles per day seems like too much, walk 26 steps. The point is that you always have sufficient willpower to do something. That something will give you the confidence to do even more and put you on a journey to completing a larger goal.
And if you’re really struggling with willpower, think of the most productive person you know. The one that you catch yourself saying, “How does he or she accomplish so much?” Imagine what he or she would be doing in your place at that moment.
In the Christian world, there’s the saying, “What would Jesus do?” It’s a moral compass to guide actions. In the world of willpower ask yourself, “What would Mr. or Ms. Productive do?” He or she might forego the dessert or the extra glass of alcohol, put the credit card and smartphone away, or get off the couch.
There’s the saying that the fastest way to make yourself miserable is to compare yourself to someone else. But sometimes, comparisons are fair and healthy. A little self-inflicted shame can be useful at times.
It is possible to improve your self-discipline. Take care of your brain and harness willpower and shame.
They’re far better companions than the alternative—unachieved goals that are important to you.
Moving the Conversation Along 